The Secrets She Must Tell Read online

  So what was going to happen next?

  They clearly couldn’t carry on like this. Things would eventually come to a head and erupt. And what was she going to do when they did? Well, she was never having sex again obviously, but, assuming Finn was amenable, there was no reason they couldn’t do other things. From what she remembered he’d been spectacularly good at those other things and he hadn’t exactly complained about her skills either.

  Did she have the courage to tell him what she now quite desperately wanted, she wondered, her heart beginning to pound with excitement as her stomach churned nervously. Once upon a time she wouldn’t have hesitated, but now... On the other hand, while she had been scarred by what had happened to her, it didn’t have to define her going forward, did it?

  So how hard would it be to go to Finn and tell him what she wanted? All it would take was guts, and heaven knew she had plenty of those. If she tried her hardest and he still sent her away, if she’d read too much into things and got completely the wrong end of the stick, then so be it. After everything she’d been through she could handle a spot of mortification. She could handle anything.

  * * *

  Cursing himself for what he’d revealed, and deeply regretting his momentary loss of control, Finn stormed into his room and slammed the door. If only Georgie had backed off and left him to stew. Instead she’d pushed and prodded and told him to have it his way, which was an absolute joke since his way involved her being horizontal in his bed, sighing and gasping beneath his hands and mouth, a scenario that wasn’t going to happen. As if that wasn’t enough she’d then leaned back and lifted her legs to tuck them under her, a movement that made the fabric of her tiny T-shirt tighten enticingly against her breasts, and he’d lost it, any hope he might have had of making it out of there with his pride intact history.

  His movements jerky, Finn yanked his T-shirt over his head and tossed it on the bed, only to spin round at the sound of his bedroom door opening. Georgie stood there, silhouetted in the space, and as a bolt of desire shot through him, nearly taking out his knees, he swore beneath his breath.

  He should have known she wouldn’t let his parting shot go. He should have known she’d follow him. That perhaps he subconsciously had known and had wanted her to do so, so that they might continue where they’d left off that first night she’d barged into his room, wasn’t something he wanted to contemplate ever. Because if that did turn out to be the case it would mean his attempts to get a grip on his unpredictable behaviour had utterly failed.

  ‘What is it with you and knocking?’ he said, practically at the end of his tether with his inability to control the futile attraction he felt for her.

  ‘Sorry.’

  She stepped forward into the light, into his territory, and he saw that she didn’t look sorry. She didn’t look sorry in the slightest. ‘What do you want?’

  ‘To continue our conversation.’

  ‘We’re done.’

  ‘I don’t think we are.’

  Before he could even think about striding past her and getting the hell out of his room, with its huge bed squatting there like some giant neon sign advertising sex, she’d walked towards him and planted her palms flat on his chest.

  ‘What are you doing?’ he said, every muscle in his body freezing while he burned where she touched him.

  ‘I’d have thought it was obvious,’ she murmured, moving her hands up over the muscles of his chest while staring at his mouth.

  His jaw clenched and his fists tightened. ‘I’d advise you to stop.’

  ‘Why?’

  Yes, why? his body screamed while his brain fought to be heard. ‘Because you’re playing with fire.’

  ‘I’m more than happy to be burned.’

  ‘You’ve been ill.’

  ‘I’m much better now.’

  But she still had some way to go. He’d done the research and witnessed her occasional off day. She was by no means totally well yet. ‘That’s irrelevant.’

  ‘All that’s relevant right now is that I want you and you want me.’

  Not much point in denying it, really. He needed her so badly he was in physical pain and it was becoming blatantly obvious. Nevertheless...

  ‘What I want doesn’t come into it,’ he muttered though gritted teeth.

  ‘Yet here we are, all partnered up.’

  ‘For the sake of our son.’

  She tilted her head as she lifted her gaze to his, her brown eyes shimmering in the soft light. ‘Are you sure about that?’

  He had been once. Right now he wasn’t sure he could even remember his own name. Her scent and her warmth were destroying his faculties. All he could think of was how good it had been between them and how desperately he wanted to find out if it still could be. ‘One hundred per cent.’

  ‘So selfless,’ she said with the hint of a smile.

  ‘Don’t patronise me.’

  ‘The tension is driving you nuts, isn’t it?’

  ‘What tension?’ he ground out.

  ‘We could make it go away. I could make it go away.’

  She ran her hands along his shoulders and down his arms and he shuddered. He had to take a step back, out of her orbit. He had to break the spell she was weaving around him. His thundering heart couldn’t take much more and his self-control was fast unravelling. But he couldn’t move. His feet appeared to have taken root. And his grip on his sanity, already loosened by weeks of frustration, was slipping away.

  ‘Leave me alone, Georgie,’ he said, but the protest was weak and he knew she knew it.

  ‘Give me one last shot and, if you really insist, then I’ll go.’

  He couldn’t speak for trying to drum up the will to insist she leave, regardless of what she did next, and she seemed to take his silence as assent, which maybe it foolishly and recklessly was, because before he knew what she was planning, before he could brace himself for what she might say or do, she’d let go of him, reached down, and gripped the hem of her top.

  And as she whipped it off and tossed it to the floor, exposing her lace-covered breasts and inches of beautiful, creamy skin to his ravenous gaze, Finn felt what was left of his resistance crumble and the last remaining vestiges of his self-control shatter.

  * * *

  When, suddenly galvanised into action after minutes of rock-solid stillness, Finn hauled her into his arms and his mouth crashed down on hers, Georgie’s first thought was, oh, thank heavens for that. She hadn’t known what she would have done next had he rejected her bold move. Back away and flee, most probably, because there was taking a leaf out of his book and not stopping until one got what one wanted, and then there was harassment.

  Now, though, as he held her tightly and kissed her as if his life depended on it, she couldn’t think at all. Her head was swimming and the electricity zinging through her as a result of his chest hair rubbing against her sensitised skin was enough to power the national grid. She’d forgotten how very good he was at this, how good they were together, and she kissed him back with equal fervour.

  When at last Finn lifted his head, his eyes were so dark they were almost black and his breathing was as ragged as hers. ‘You really don’t play fair,’ she heard him murmur harshly over the thunder of her heart.

  ‘You’re a hard man to crack.’

  ‘You have no idea how hard I’ve been.’

  She arched her back, pressing her hips more firmly to his, and gave him a quick grin. ‘I think I may have some.’

  His gaze bored into hers and she shivered. ‘Are you sure about this?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘What exactly do you want from me?’ he persisted.

  ‘Not sex.’

  He stilled for a moment and eased back, his expression tortured. ‘OK, then,’ he said, clearly grappling to contain his surprise and disappointment. ‘OK.’ And then, hoarsely, ‘Ou
t of interest, why not?’

  ‘It’s too risky,’ she clarified swiftly to put him out of his misery. ‘We were careful the last time and look what happened. I can’t get pregnant a second time. I can’t go through the last six months all over again. Ever. We can do everything else though.’

  As her words sank in he shuddered with visible relief. ‘Thank God for that.’

  ‘I’m sure you know things I’ve never even heard of.’

  ‘Based on past experience, I very much doubt that.’

  ‘Is that OK?’ she added, suddenly worried that it might not be enough for him.

  ‘I’ll take anything you’re willing to give.’

  Phew. ‘Then we’re going to be busy.’

  ‘Fine by me.’

  He turned with her still in his arms and backed her up towards the bed until her knees hit the edge of it. Together they fell onto the mattress, his hard-muscled weight pinning her down in the most breathtakingly lovely way.

  ‘That’s better,’ he muttered, lowering his head and capturing her mouth with his in a kiss that blew her mind all over again.

  Caught up in a maelstrom of soul-shattering sensation, Georgie gave up thinking and let instinct take over. She lifted her hands to his shoulders, smoothing them over his muscles, feeling them bunch and flex as he held himself off her just enough to prevent crushing her.

  He dragged his mouth along her jaw to her ear, nipping at a spot that made her groan as heat sizzled through her, and she gasped, ‘You remembered.’

  ‘I remember everything.’

  Shifting slightly onto his side, Finn put one large, warm hand on her waist, making her jump and shudder, and then slid it behind her back to unclip her bra. After slipping it off her and throwing it aside he cupped her breast, and with a soft moan she instinctively arched her back to press herself further into his hand. He bent his head and caught one tight nipple between his lips and she whimpered as sparks shot through her. Her hands tightened in his hair, although whether to hold him still or push him lower she couldn’t tell. She didn’t want the exquisite torment he was subjecting her to to stop but on the other hand she wanted that clever mouth of his all over her. It was the most delicious of dilemmas.

  Abandoning her breast, he slid his hand lower, easing beneath the waistband of her shorts and knickers, and she lifted her hips to help him push them down.

  ‘Beautiful,’ he muttered gruffly, his gaze singeing her skin as he moved his hand back up her calf, her knee, her thigh, taking his time and lingering in places that had her quivering. When he reached the juncture of her thighs and covered her where she was so hot and needy she cried out. He parted her with his fingers and stroked, and jolts of excitement streaked through her. Her breath caught and her heart thundered and when she reached down to touch him through his jeans his breath shot out in one long hiss.

  Unable to lie there impassively while Finn was still partly clothed and doing everything, and desperately wanting to feel him without denim between them, she nudged him to encourage him to roll over, but he stopped her.

  ‘No,’ he said roughly, his entire body vibrating with tension. ‘You’re first.’

  Noble, she thought with a shudder at the thought of the pleasure to come. But no. That wasn’t happening. Not when she owed him for the whipping-her-top-off moment. ‘Who said we have to take turns?’

  He went still for a moment and then his eyes darkened and his mouth curved into a slow, smouldering smile. ‘Good point.’

  He flipped onto his back, taking her with him, and she wriggled down his body. Her hands were trembling as she unbuckled his belt, so much so that she couldn’t actually undo the buttons of his fly. He batted her aside to do it himself and the sight of his capable hands with their strong fingers that could cause so much devastation within her liquefied her stomach.

  He kicked off his jeans and shorts and then planted his hands on her waist to manoeuvre her into a position in which she was facing his feet and he was gripping her hips and lifting her to where he wanted her and where she wanted to be. Supporting herself on her elbows, she wrapped her fingers around his long, thick, hard length and heard him groan, and then gave a reciprocal one of her own when his tongue touched her sensitive flesh and sent sensation coursing through her.

  As she moved her hand up and down the velvety steel of him, and he found her clitoris and licked, her eyelids fluttered shut, her entire body filling with molten heat. She was shaking all over, but not nearly as much as he was when she took him into her mouth. When she started moving her head he moaned against her, and the vibrations sent tiny shock waves shooting through her.

  His response stoked hers, making her move faster, which drove him to increase the pressure and the intensity of what he was doing to her and she was fast spiralling out of control. She could feel the tension building inside her, the heat and pleasure winding tight and scrambling her senses, and she seemed to be in synch with him because he was now shifting his hips and thrusting into her mouth as she moved, and his breathing was hot and ragged against her.

  Desire soared within her, igniting a desperate ache, and she was just about to reach a hand down to where his tongue was buried to hurry him along, when, as if able to read her mind, he held her still and thrust two fingers inside her and curled them so that they hit that exact spot, and that was it. She flew apart, her orgasm crashing into her, a white-hot burst of pleasure spinning through her like a Catherine wheel. And as stars whirled round her head she took him deep, and with a harsh groan he grabbed her head, tensed and then pulsated hard, spilling into her mouth until neither of them had anything left.

  Feeling utterly drained, Georgie eased herself off him and flopped back, lying top to tail against him while waiting for her heartbeat to regulate.

  ‘God, we’re good at this,’ she said when she had enough breath to speak.

  Finn rolled onto his side, and regarded her, his gaze dark and glittering and his face flushed. ‘Just think how much better we could be with a bit of practice.’

  A sharp shiver raced through her, electrifying her nerve endings all over again. ‘I don’t know if I’d survive.’

  The smile he gave her was slow and full of wicked promise. ‘Oh, you’ll survive.’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  THEY PRACTISED A LOT, and got so good that a week later Georgie thought it was just as well that the walls were soundproofed. Finn was very inventive and, as she’d suspected, he knew things to do with positions and accessories and devices that she’d never even seen before, let alone deployed.

  He just had to look at her and she became flushed and aroused. Every night as soon as Josh had been put to bed—indecently soon, actually—Finn took her hand and led her into the nearest bedroom, where they stayed until either day broke or their son woke. She’d lost count of how many orgasms she’d had and she was fast becoming addicted to the things he could do to her.

  She wasn’t just surviving the way he handled her body, she was thriving on it, as the entries in her diary detailed, which only went to show that oxytocin and dopamine and the endorphins that accompanied them really were good for the brain. And if something was occasionally missing, if she sometimes felt a bit hollow on her way down from the bliss and sort of wished she could have all of him, well, that was the compromise she just had to make, in the same way that all this lovely nocturnal activity came at the cost of the conversation she’d been so keen to encourage.

  Her days now had structure and routine and she and Finn were getting on splendidly, and she had absolutely nothing to complain about. However, in the absence of stress and anxiety and sexual frustration, she found that now all she had to wonder about was if and when he was going to introduce her to his friends as promised. He’d shown no indication of it so far, and she couldn’t help wondering why not. They were in every night, so it wasn’t as if a hectic schedule prevented it. So was it something to do with
her, then? With their situation? Or did he see her as unfit for anywhere other than the bedroom?

  There was only one way to find out.

  ‘So when am I going to meet your friends?’ she asked him one night as they lay sprawled across his enormous bed, the moonlight streaking through the windows and bathing everything in a silvery glow. ‘It’s been weeks. Are you in some way ashamed of me?’

  ‘What?’ he replied, his words muffled by the pillow he’d flopped onto only moments ago. ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

  Hmm. That wasn’t exactly an answer. ‘Don’t get me wrong,’ she said, trying to keep her voice light, ‘your attention is very flattering but a girl could get a complex.’ Especially a girl like her, with anxieties and insecurities that she knew could pop up at any time.

  ‘She shouldn’t.’

  ‘She might.’

  He turned his head to the side and levelled her with a long, hot look. ‘Really?’

  She nodded. ‘Really.’

  ‘I’ll set something up.’

  ‘Thank you,’ she said with a grin.

  ‘You’re welcome.’

  ‘I shall cook.’

  ‘There’s no need. We’ll go out. Or have something sent up.’

  ‘No, I’d like to. I used to love cooking and I can’t keep eating all the food the kitchens provide. It’s too easy, too convenient and way too delicious. Much more of it and I’ll be as big as a house.’

  His gaze slowly roamed over her, setting her on fire wherever he let it linger. ‘You’re fine,’ he said, his smile fading and his eyes darkening as he reached for her yet again. ‘You’re beautiful. And I am in absolutely no way ashamed of you.’